You expect my uterus to do WHAT?!?!

{August 19, 2009}   So much for hopping on that train

I called the RE back and checked to see what our “plan” was.

Plans, they are a funny thing.

I plan on going back to Europe.  I plan on losing weight.  I plan on staying on top of the housework.  I plan on getting pregnant.

I asked the nurse about the second SA.  She tells me “we can do the second semen (:giggle:) analysis when you come in for the IUI..knock out two birds with one stone!”

Whoa whoa whoa–back the stoned bird train UP.

We talked about IUI, we talked about IVF.  However, those were like way in the future.  Like years in the future.  It wasn’t even a plan yet, it was a plan-let.  That plan-let was so far in the future, so immature a plan, that it was on the dusty shelf with the “dern my socks” plan.  (Does anyone even do that anymore? Do I have the right word?  Is anyone listening?)

I stopped her in her catheter shoving, cervix dilating, beer-bong of sperm tracks.

I told her I wasn’t comfortable jumping that far ahead first, after all, I played Dr M, medicine women last fall, mixing up my own concoction of herbs, teas, vitamins and timed sexing and ended up pregnant.  I did it once, I can do it again, surely with the help of our little pill.  5 simple little pills.

What’s that you say?  Simple?  My life?  Ha!

I asked her about what all was involved in the clomid cycle, reminded her that I have no infertility coverage.  Here is the following convo:

She said “Well, we will only have you come in for a baseline u/s”

“Is any of that covered by my insurance?”

“Unfortunately, no–once we give you drugs, we have to code it as infertility”

“Um–ok?  There’s no part of it covered?”


“So how much are we talking?”

“$250 for the baseline u/s”

“Wow.  Ok…how many times will I have to come in to be checked throughout the cycle?”

“He doesn’t want to monitor you”

I suddenly have flashes of the day I jokingly had my palm read at a fair.  The lady said I’d have 13 kids.  I laughed and called her a kook.  :shudder:

“So the baseline u/s, then the prescription and then nothing?”


“Hmmm ok…”

“Dr ColdFingers doesn’t routinely monitor during a cycle with only clomid, as most of our patients pay out of pocket and it’s not usually necessary”

“Ok, so since we’ve already started talking the big bucks, how much are we talking for an IUI?”

“$425 for an IUI and a semen wash”

At this point, I think to myself—I might as well actually involve a penis in this process as I’m getting screwed anyways.

“$425 for the IUI and the wash—plus an u/s?”

“Yes Ma’am.  There is at least one u/s involved”

“Plus the drugs?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“Anything else?”

“Dr Coldfingers checks your estridol levels after the IUI—that’ll be…$90”


“If you have any other questions, let us know! Call us when you start your period and we’ll get you started!”

Hmmmm, last I checked, I don’t have any plans on winning the lottery in the next two weeks.

I’m so unbelievably pissed today, I cried at work, in the office—I cried on my lunch break, I cried during office hours.  I’m so mad.  I’m so FREAKING mad.  All of this money put into insurance and for NOTHING.

I get not covering the clomid.  I get not covering an IUI.  I get not covering the multiple u/s’s leading up to an IUI or even just monitoring clomid.  I’ll even go as far as to say, with confidence, that I understand not covering a Semen Analysis.  After all a man that shoots blanks is otherwise healthy.

However, I do NOT get not covering the baseline u/s to make sure that my DOCUMENTED MEDICAL CONDITION THAT EFFECTS MORE THAN JUST MY FUCKING REPRODUCTIVE ABILITIES hasn’t flaired up.

Did I mention I cried today?

I would pay the money, I would gladly pay even thousands of dollars if they could PROMISE me a healthy baby.  But they can’t.  And that sucks.

Would you pay a grand+ for a lottery ticket?  I don’t think so.

So not only did I miss that train I unpacked my luggage.

Damn it all.


two random notes:
one, i know ive had insurance cover for pcos sonograms in the past when ordered and listed under pcos… can they classify that part as just treatment of pcos you might need whether or not treating beyond that?
two, ask some questions about internet clomid purchases in the middle of these cost questions… and i’m betting they can start bargaining some.

justboo says:

Clomid is covered at walmart in their special drug section. 9 bucks, not too shady. I think I’m going to give myself a day or two to get out of the crying everytime i physically talk about it phase and call and ask to speak with someone in billing.

Kate says:

UGH. I’m about to head down this road to. Uninsured for any fertility treatment. I wonder if you can get them to code for PCOS as well. Sigh. It sucks. I’m sorry you cried. This stuff is just so hard.

Lin says:

Ok, that totally sucks on so many levels from the crazy RN to the insurance. No shame in a good cry, no matter when it happens. (((HUGS)))

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