You expect my uterus to do WHAT?!?!











The rest of the appointment was total fuucking crap. What a waste of my time.

First of all, it was exactly an HOUR after my appt time when they called me back there. In that hour, they printed off my medical history and had me look over it to see if I needed any corrections. Um, ok. I’ve never had to do that before, but w/e.

My medical history was so screwed up. They left my brother’s chron’s disease off, they switched the smoking and drinking questions and had wrong values in for them.

So I was called back. The nurse (with my medical history right in front of her) asked when my last period was. I told her. She replied with “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” :headdesk: See that line right there with last week’s date? Yeah, that’s a quant beta draw. So unless I got ku in the last week, yeah, i’m pretty sure. (I actually replied with a sweet “As of last Thursday’s beta I wasn’t” She replied with “Oh, so your cycles aren’t regular then?” :headdesk: “You fucking idiot, that’s why on my medical history my cycle length is noted at “at minimum 30 days, but varies greatly” (Sweet replied: “No, that’s partially why I’m here”)

She went over some other stuff but then left me with the gown of doom.

Doctor comes in and says “so tell me about yourself”

I give him my basic history, when i went on the pill, when I went off, etc etc. He says “when was your last period?” I told him. He replied with “are you sure you’re not pregnant?” (Ok at this point I’m going to fucking kill someone). I reminded him about the beta and he says “and it was negative?”

Well then to summarize what he says next basically boils down to “I’m going to recommend you see an RE and come back to me when you’re pregnant”.

To go a little more in detail he said “you’re not ovulating because you’re overweight and i could give you clomid, but since you’re overweight I can’t monitor you that well” He then went into describing how clomid works (really? it tricks your body into producing estrogen? Do tell me more!) and repeated himself about not being able to help me in his office a couple more times. I countered with “well, I’m going to check with my insurance, but if an RE is not covered, what are we going to do?” He kind of sighed, gave me a face and replied with “Well, I suppose we could try it anyways and do the best we can here”.

Yeah, thanks.

He then repeated himself again about “if you were my daughter, I’d tell you to go see a RE and come back to me when you’re pregnant”.

He then asked “so are we going to do a pelvic exam today?”

No, you fuucking idiot, I’m wearing this awful gown because frankly, it turns me on.

He felt me up, probed me down and commented “You’ve got a great looking cervix” He took of his gloves, shook my hand and then told me to get dressed.

When I left, he handed me the standard drug info sheet for clomid and a horribly cheesy looking pamphlet ((c) 2000) entitled: “Evaluating Infertility”

Such was my afternoon.

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{March 30, 2009}   I’ve given up

I’m done trying to understand the uterus, I’m done trying so damn hard to run into frustration after frustration after frustration.
I’m done obsessing about what is coming in and out of my body.
I’m tired of it. I’m tired of all of it.

Someone stop the train, I’m getting off.



{March 28, 2009}   17dpo

A whole lot of nothing. Seriously, if I’m not pregnant, that’s fine…just let me move on with my life!

I’ve spent more than I care to admit in tests and more time than I care to admit staring at them–all blank.

My chart says I o’d, everyone I’ve asked to look at it agrees. The only thing I can say is that perhaps I really didn’t o? I just don’t know.

I want to stop testing, but it’s compulsive now :laughs: I like having answers.



Although I’m trying not to get to excited, esp since my bfn this morning, but FF has officially given me the triphasic chart label.

Good sign? Idk, bfn makes me think not, but who knows, eh?



{March 22, 2009}   I hate the waiting game

11dpo, good looking chart, questionable “symptoms”.

Waiting sucks.
TheBooDiddly Ovulation Charts



{March 18, 2009}   Even more true now.

I may have posted it here already, but it was over a year ago and I can’t get it out of my head come lately.



{February 23, 2009}   Updates!

Well, first of all, matt and I are going to California! I’m excited and a little nervous about it, but I think it’s going to do the two of us some good.

Between just being married for almost 3 years (with no honeymoon or “real” vacation) and the whole m/c thing….I think it’ll do us some good just to get away and relax and have some quality us time doing something we never do.

Matt’s never been to Disney and it’s been YEARS since I’ve been, so we’re going to spend a couple of days down there. Then we’re going to San Jose to stay with an amazing friend who has offered to let us stay with her while she shows us the norcal scene. I don’t know what I’m more excited about, Disney or just relaxing on the beach.

In other news, 11dpo. I’ve had some really super light spotting today so IDK what’s up with that. Maybe something, Maybe nothing. Only time will tell!



{February 16, 2009}   I know, I’m a slacker

Well, if nothing else, good news abounds in the sense that I sensed the upcoming ovulation!

I got my peaks and then I felt the o-pain. (I never believed people felt o, but now I’m a convert). Sure enough, the next day was the signature temp rise. My coverline seems a little low but :shrug:.

4dpo.



{February 3, 2009}   Welcome new blog readers!

I just want to take a second to tell all my old readers that you can now find me contributing in a new place… http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/blog/

I stumbled across the parent site (www.countdowntopregnancy.com) right before I got my first bfp.  It’s a really fantastic site to actually compare pregnancy symptoms to data inputed by other women.

Anywho, welcome to all of the new readers that may stumble here through my contributing in the other blog!



Despite the fantastic looking chart, I think I’m going to start soon.

We’ve all seen charts go from awesome to crap so I can’t say that means anything. However, the cramps and general crappy feeling I felt last night through this morning—-that I can say something about. I predict I will start within the next 2 days.



et cetera